we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
