i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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