Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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