I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
