I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you win again, gameday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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