The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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