everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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