lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
