i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
