I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
