Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
