so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
