ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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