Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
