i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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