i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
