the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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