Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
