The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
