Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
