my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
