after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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