I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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