ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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