im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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