I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
