Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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