the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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