Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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