As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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