So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
