organizing the empties. That sober.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
