:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Alive.
So much puke
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
