we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
try to milk me bitch
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