So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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