I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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