I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so let's talk penis.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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