His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
