the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
