No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
