Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
