its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize