"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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