I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
