I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
