I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Randomize
