Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
