shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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