Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
