yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
