You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize