We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
