Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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