NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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