I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
