You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
