Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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