Kiss
Puke
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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