He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
