life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
