I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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