Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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