Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
