I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
