proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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