saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
there's paper in my vomit.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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