everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
